renewing

I haven't blogged in like a year. I was inspired by Emma to start again. it's her birthday this week, she'll be 13! having a birthday in south Louisiana in September has proven to be an iffy situation. it seems like every year there is a hurricane or some other tropical disturbance to interfere with her party or events. I feel bad for her, but i hope she knows that the weather or any other situation that occurs during her birthday in no way should diminish the fact that she is an awesome, lovable person. Happy Birthday Emma, Daddy loves you very much. xoxoxo

Socialization??

So, we have stopped homeschooling our kids and sent them to public school. I have mixed feelings about this. I am happy to see the kids gain new experiences and get involved with school activities. I do worry about their academics and their ability to resist negative peer pressure or even be able to determine the pressure as positive or negative. I have been told by a few people that now that the kids are back in school their social development will be better... Really?... better according to who?... The kids, while being home schooled, had many social outlets and they were doing just fine... sometimes I think kids today are over-socialized... Parents allow their public and private school kids to get away with whatever they want in the name of socialization. that's crazy!!!! kids do need to learn how to deal with other people, after all I am not proposing we all live isolated lives. What i did like about homeschooling was that either my wife or I were there at every turn to advise and teach our kids the way they should have treated a situation or give them some positive reinforcement when they socialized in an acceptable way.

of course, we can still be that parental guide in their lives while they are in public school. I just wonder why more parents don't do it

My Half Marathon experience

It has been over 2 weeks since the race and I have not posted about the experience yet. I am not sure what is holding me back from it. At this point I will say that it was cold, freezing at the start of the race, it snowed in Baton Rouge just 8 hours before the start of the race. This made for a very anxious night and sleep before the race. I woke up the morning of the race to clear skies and just a few flakes on the ground... Decent running conditions. I was ready for the race, or so I thought.

On the way to the race we ran into some traffic on the interstate that threatened to make me late for the start. In fact, 15 minutes before the start of the race I was trapped on the Interstate and just knew that I would be starting after "the gun". At this point doubt began to creep into my mind. Thoughts that maybe I am not meant to run this race started creeping in. At this point all I could do was pray that I get to the start of the race in time. I didn't think that starting late would be good for my fragile psyche. As I finished praying that God would ease the traffic, it did ease and Mary got me to the start with about 4 minutes to spare. I ran into a few of my running buddies hit the portable restrooms and lined up for the start with what seemed to me to be thousands of others(it may have been about 1400 or so in actuality). And the race began. I never heard a horn or pistol. Everyone started running and so did I. That first mile went by quick as I was still in a crowd and the adrenaline seemed to get me through that mile with very little effort from me. I tried to take in the sights, sounds and any special things that may come up during the run. But in that first mile my only thought was to not get run over by anyone. It seemed like everyone started out at a faster pace than me. Miles 2 and 3 were tough for me because of the unrealized effort I must have used in the first mile. during mile 3 I came upon Scott, my brother and my mom and step-dad. It was awesome to see them in the distance and feel the support they were giving me. My brother told me to low down I was running too hard and wouldn't finish the race at the pace I was on. I was glad to have someone tell me that. So I did slow down. and actually mile 4-7 went really smooth. I saw Mary and our daughters at mile 4 and that was a great pick me up. My entire family had made posters to support my running and others who were running around me began cheering for me because of the support I had at the race. in fact, every once in a while i would hear a 'go Steve' cheer from the other racers. i did appreciate that. I saw the family again at mile 6 and then again at mile 7. At this point, well actually mile 8 I started to feel tired, my legs were tired. I was able to push on to mile 10 on tired legs. there was a water stop at mile 10 and this was the point where I seemed to hit a "wall". I saw the family for the last time until the finish line at this point. I was glad to see them because I knew the end was near. I was exhausted but knew that the next 3 miles were "in the bag", I knew I'd finish. I didn't know that these 3 miles would be so tough. I could not run the whole 3 miles. My legs just wouldn't do it. So I did, disappointingly, walk a bit. I was in survival mode and just wanted to finish this race by doing whatever it took to finish it. I ended up jogging for a few minutes and then walking for a couple of minutes and then jogging again. This is how I got through miles 10 and 11. When I got to the mile 12 marker and knew that I had only 1 mile to go I started to pick up my pace again. There was no doubt that I was going to finish this half marathon. I judge that I must have made good time from mile 12.0 to mile 12.5, and then was out of energy. I had to walk again. I probably walked for a quarter mile and could actually see the finish line in front of me. This motivated me to run again. At this point I could see a kid running the wrong way, towards me, on the course. As the kid got closer to me I could make out that it was my 8 year old daughter Elani running to meet me. I yelled out to her "are you gonna finish the race with me?" and the smile on her face was enough to make all the pain and exhaustion of the race I just ran worth it. When she caught up with me and we were both "sprinting" towards that finish line I had several thoughts that were in my mind. In what probably took 30-45 seconds I had enough memories cross my mind to take and hour to tell. One of those memories was of me using a walker and not being able to walk on my own for over 7 months of my life. I may end up sharing some of the other memories and thoughts in later postings.

My goal was to finish this race in under 3 hours. My official time was 3:11:02. I assume that if I hadn't walked so much between miles 10 and 12 that I would have been under that goal, but that is not the important thing. What is important to me is that I FINISHED!

I will post some of my post race thoughts and physical status at some other time. I will just say for now that the pain, anguish and doubt was all worth it. I may never break any speed records. But seeing a goal to completion is my reward.

Running to overcome - relating therapy to training

Most of you who know me are aware that I have started jogging. For me jogging and running are about the same speed so I use the words interchangeably. This form of exercise started for me in September 2009. The local YMCA started an outdoor running club that would train 3 days a week as a group and the other days we are to train alone or rest. The First night of the group we did 3 half mile repeats. That basically meant that we ran half a mile and then walked about a tenth of a mile then rested. All 3 stages of the repeat should have been of equal length. I thought I would die after the first 1/2 mile. I did jog the whole way for that 1/2 mile. But the other 2 half miles were a mixture of running and walking. In other words I was out of shape and had no clue how to make myself keep going in this world of running. As I drove home that night disappointed in my performance I started thinking of ways to overcome this difficulty I was having with running. The biggest obstacle I have overcome in this life was not being able to walk and talk after my illness in 2002. How did I overcome that? Why did I overcome that? Who helped me along the way? these are all questions that I asked myself when considering how I could use the experience of therapy and translating it to the experience of training. 

The year after my ruptured colon and subsequent inability to walk and talk were the toughest year of my life. I could not articulate myself the way that I wanted nor could I even move the way that I wanted. I was 30 years old and had to use a walker and then a cane to walk, my speech was generally not understandable at most times, my breathing was forced and unnatural. I was a mess. However, I always felt the need to get better, to try my hardest to get back to being a productive husband for Mary, father for the girls, son, friend and neighbor. I could do it.

Daily rehabilitation sessions at the hospital were my job back then. So, with the help of Mary and the therapists, doctors and nurses, who all have a special place in my heart, I was able to go into therapy with a POSITIVE attitude everyday. I'll never forget the day they let me try to walk without assistance in the therapy department. One of my prior therapists was there to drop off some paperwork and when she saw me walking on my own she began to cry. I was so proud of myself that I thought I could run at that time. Those tears were an inspiration to me. Still are today. 

Anyway, as I was disappointed in myself as I drove home after that first night of running club I remembered all of this and put in my mind  that I COULD and WILL accomplish this goal. The Ultimate goal of the club, at least in the short term is to run in a half marathon in December 2009. That's next month, actually like 2 weeks away. I am proud to say that I have jogged a distance of 7 miles at a time so far, and am scheduled to do a 10 mile run on Saturday morning. I have been told by several runners that doing the 3.1 after doing 10 is "easy".  

I will post whether I survive the 10 miles on Saturday and then my triumph on the half marathon.

(the above pictures of me are in the hospital in 2002 on Elani's 1st birthday and the 2nd is from October 2009 when I ran the Oktoberfest 3 mile race in Baton Rouge)

Oh when the Saints....

Normally with this title most who know me would wonder "is he talking football or religion?" Well I am actually pretty excited about both. To start off with, I have been a New Orleans Saints fan for my entire life and have been through some really down times as a Saints football fan. With that being said... The first 2 weeks of the NFL season have been awesome!!! I am starting to think that no one can stop the Saints offense and that the defense is doing what it needs to do and all of this will continue to go on for the whole season, which will end up in theSuperbowl in Miami. A Black and Gold Superbowl. I am aware that in the NFL it is very unrealistic to think that the Saints will go undefeated, but at this point a 12-4 record is not out of the question.

I am also very excited by the Lives of the Saints and what the religious Saints have done for us through Jesus Christ. I have been contemplating the stories and lives of the Saints based on the feast days of the Church and a saint of the day type book that I have. When I read a story about a saint who lived in the 1100's I have a very tough time relating that story to my life. However, when I can take words such as poverty, suffering, conversion, etc. I can relate those to things that I go through today. And the examples of these saints provides me with the strength and desire to make the most out of my situation. As most people who know me are aware of I have a special love and admiration of Saint Padre Pio. His feast day was yesterday 9/23. In reflecting on his suffering and how he turned that around for the good of others he did wonderful things, and continues to do them today. The following excerpt from Pope John Paul II is a peek into the life of Padre Pio.

At Padre Pio's canonization Mass in 2002, Pope John Paul II referred to that day's Gospel (Matthew 11:25-30) and said: “The Gospel image of 'yoke' evokes the many trials that the humble Capuchin of San Giovanni Rotondo endured. Today we contemplate in him how sweet is the 'yoke' of Christ and indeed how light the burden are whenever someone carries these with faithful love. The life and mission of Padre Pio testify that difficulties and sorrows, if accepted with love, transform themselves into a privileged journey of holiness, which opens the person toward a greater good, known only to the Lord.”

I truly believe that following the lives of the many Saints that the Catholic religion has canonized and learning to reverence and live for Jesus through them will help lead to the heavenly gates. I also believe that following the New Orleans Saints this year will lead me to the "heaven" of Superbowl Victory!! ( I do realize that a sports team winning an event is nowhere near the greatness that God willl give us in heaven, but maybe it will be a good appetizer)

Getting back into the routine

The summer is over and with that comes the return of home schooling schedules, swim team, soccer practices, youth group, dance classes and many other events. Starting a new routine that is packed with events everyday is proving to be quite difficult for me. I will manage it, I am not worried that I wont. I just know that it will take a week or so of the new routines to adjust. 

So far, the kids have been great about getting back in the schooling, granted this is only the 2nd day. 

As for me, I have a couple of new things going on. First, and most frustrating, the Religious Studies Institute classes that I have taken the last 2 years were cancelled for year 3 classes this academic year. This is a bummer because I had planned on completing this program this year. I am also coordinating the RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults)program at church, which is going to be quite fulfilling, bringing others to Jesus and the fullness of our Catholic roots. The existing team is fantastic and have told me that I have their full support during my leadership of the program. Of Course our parish Priest is really in charge, but day to day I will hold the reigns on that program.

I have also started working part time at a local health/fitness establishment. This was born out of my participation this summer as a summer camp counselor. So, we'll see how this new job effects my schedule.

Memories of Michael and Farrah

2 icons of pop culture and my childhood have passed away. In my days of childhood in the late 1970's thru the mid eighties these 2 stars were the biggest. recently both have had troubles and sadness in their lives. I choose to remember both of them in their prime, as I saw it. Farrah as one of Charlie's Angels and Michael in his hey day of Thriller! 

I do not and will not start to think of myself as old, but it is sad to start seeing some of my childhood starting to pass away with different celebrities.